


Cornflowers are like that.

by the_irydioner



Category: Poldark (TV 2015), Poldark - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-05-09
Packaged: 2018-03-29 19:37:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3908065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_irydioner/pseuds/the_irydioner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Thank you, but I’m afraid they won’t last. See, they’re fading already. Cornflowers are like that.”</p><p>Elizabeth had thought Demelza's flower would soon fade in Ross' eyes, but the events force her to a face-off with her own hypocrisies and the true cause of her unhappiness - herself.<br/>(Small expansion on a couple of scenes from 1x03 and 1x04 of the 2015 TV series.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cornflowers are like that.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mirthful_sonnet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirthful_sonnet/gifts).



 

You turn around just barely, as the echoes of your footsteps lead you out of this simple parlor you believed yours-to-be, once upon a distant dream.

The girl _–what’s her name again?–_ is still there, rooted to the spot since the very moment of her clumsy entrance; the moment she saw you with Ross, an intruder into her tiny, personal corner of paradise made of sun and flowers and who knows what other castles in the sky, suddenly made crumbling because of your presence. Poor creature, all wide fretful eyes and rebel flaming hair and disarming gentleness, with her so-very-blue cornflowers she didn’t hesitate offering to you, in spite of everything; the very same cornflowers you are sure she’s staring at as if dumbstruck now, turning your words over and over in her mind, even if her back is turned on you.

_“Thank you, but I’m afraid they won’t last. See, they’re fading already. Cornflowers are like that.”_

What she doesn’t understand is that you only did her a _kindness_. That carefreeness is not of this world, of _your_ world – a world that may seem to spit on normality most of the times, filled with landowners killing themselves out of desperation, blacksmith’s sons keeping ancient noble families at their utter mercy, husbands that would have everything to be happy about but decide to dissipate their fortune on gambling, wine and whoring; but never so mad a world as to sanction the naked feelings you glimpsed for the briefest of moments into those dismayed blue eyes, feelings you recognized at once for having felt them on your own skin. You are a lady, however, always well-put together and graceful and wearing respectability like a second skin; whereas she is but a maid, and a wild one at that. Surely all Ross could possibly have seen in her is one of those lost causes he likes so much to try saving…and the sooner that poor, naïve girl understands that, the better for her.

You are firm in this final belief as you finally leave her behind you, striving to forget the incident and the deep blue of cornflowers and the unwelcome whispers of your inner voice – unable to admit that maybe it wasn’t compassion at all prompting your comment, but only a primal need to wound anyone who should dare aspiring to the very same happiness you estranged yourself from with your own hands.

 

* * *

 

You turn around just barely, as your husband and sister-in-law walk back inside, to watch your last guests walk away into the frosty landscape, one leaning into the other, utterly close and attuned.

They make a handsome pair, Ross and Demelza _–her name is sculpted in your memory now–_ and if you think back on how much you got things wrong, on how badly you judged on _everything_ , all you wish to do is cry and laugh at the same time. Ever since you heard the news you tried very hard to hate her, to despise her as a social climber, like you knew everyone would do; but yet another thing you’ve been forced to admit to yourself, after this Christmas at Trentwith, is that you’re unable to do this too. Hate is the farthest from how you feel about her after witnessing her courage when facing their other guests, ready to criticize her for the slightest slip; and dislike ebbs away farther still after seeing her display of fierce protectiveness towards Verity, her endearing wonder at the vastness of the house, or hearing her angel-like voice that melted every last one of their hearts (and Ross’ more than anyone else’s).

No, if there’s a feeling you associate with her it has to be admiration – _envy_ , your inner voice corrects you; and this time you’re not strong enough to shush it.

There’s a sour taste in your mouth as you finally leave them behind you, taking shelter inside and striving to drown your thoughts into the first poetry book you can get your hands onto; and if your bitter burst of laughter in finding a dried, unmistakably blue cornflower inside, used as a bookmark, attracts puzzled stares from Francis, you cannot really bring yourself to care.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am missing Poldark already! This series has been a true joy to watch recently, with very good acting and complex characters and gorgeous landscape - I do not think anyone could ask for more, really. Bring on s2! (and maybe I'll be able to catch up on some of the books in the meantime...)
> 
> I chose to try and explore some of Elizabeth's inner psychology as I see it, because while totally rooting for Ross & Demelza (new OTP for certes! <3), I also find her and Francis two very interesting characters in their motivations and contradictions. She, in particular, tends to judge people from above a lot, but she often gets it wrong: we see her doing it with her husband (she disapproves everything he does -quite rightly so, if you ask me ^^- but doesn't see any hidden appeals for help he might be wordlessly trying to send her here and there), and we see her do it with Demelza, judging impossible that whatever she has with Ross will last (that's how I intended her remark about the cornflowers, anyway), but being proven wrong during the Christmas festivities at Trentwith. Also, she tends to present herself as a victim of circumstance, but she is the ultimate cause of her own unhappiness, since she chose to marry Francis but cannot seem to turn the page from her love story with Ross.
> 
> Dedicated to one lovely girl - even if it's not much of a thing! - because we were talking about this elsewhere :)


End file.
